This is a joke...please laugh

[Marmie]

I found this posted on Graffe's site, which was then found at EQDiva. Anyway, here it is. Some of these are hysterical.

More AA's

All Classes
Cohesion of the Lost
This ability enhances the entertainment you get from scrolling through an Adventure Merchant’s wares, enabling you to wait longer for that 6th person to log in and put up LFG.

Comprehension of the Lost
This ability allows you to understand how a person can say OMW or BRT, then take forty-seven minutes to get from PoK to Ruj camp in EC. The highest rank of this creates a detailed log of their movements to the bank, then KEI hunting, then tribute master, then a few minutes in Paineel for no easily acceptable reason before finally getting to EC by way of Western Wastes because “that’s where their bind was.”

Vengeance of the Lost
This ability allows you to damage the Adventure Recruiter. The second rank of this ability allows you to be very specific about the location of the damage.

ENC/MAG/NEC/WIZ

True Perspective
This ability alters the angle of the first person point of view on the monitor so that you’re always looking down your nose at the baser classes that are too stupid to master the art of magic.

Post Graduate Intern
This ability summons a pet that will do all your research for you, while you take all the credit.

CLR/DRU/SHM

Cult of Personality
This ability surrounds you in an aura of divinity. Weak-willed players who pass within range will realize you are their true conduit to the EQ god. People thus affected will log in every night with no other purpose then to sing your praises and bring you converts. They will lvl grind only when you are in a zone they cannot reach, and will loot only wax flowers to sell in the Nexus.

NEC/SK/BRD

Cult of the Dead
Similar to Cult of Personality, Cult of the Dead supplies followers with drugs, banners and a tour bus.

DRU/SHM

Stupid Pet Tricks
This ability allows pets to be summoned with jokes written on their sides.

MAG

Reality Check
This ability, when activated, allows you to remember, with crystal clarity what you went through to get your first epic, thereby protecting you from going after the second one.

MNK/BRD/SK

Right of Refusal
This ability, when activated, will make it impossible for anybody to heal you. Higher ranks of this ability will prevent healing even when they really really really want to.

Right of Way
This ability, when activated, increases the chance that an aggroed mob will path in a logical manner.

Riiiigggghhttt
This ability will allow you to believe that the Right of Way AA would actually work.

ROG

Professionalism
This ability allows rogues to not only drag corpses but dispose of them as well.

RNG

Daily Affirmation
This ability provides you with a reminder every time you log in that people will invite a ranger before they’ll invite a berserker.

BRD

Illusion: Road Runner
We know you want it. You’ll wear it all the time. Forget dyes. Nobody’s ever going to see your armor again. Second rank allows you to make the “Meep Meep” sound.

BST

Warder’s Ardor
This ability allows you to direct your warder to visibly hump another player’s leg. The second rank of this ability allows the pet to continue to do this after you’ve logged off. The third rank gives the pet a money shot.

Group/Raid Leadership AAs

GRP/RD

Helpful Reminder
This ability allows you to send a tell to a targeted player that appears on their screen like the Microsoft Paperclip holding a memo explaining exactly why they keep getting summoned.

RD

Fluffy’s Armageddon
This ability, when activated, instantly kills every single pet controlled by a raid member. The second rank of this ability leaves one pet alive to spread the word.

Illuminate Interface
This is a greatly enhanced version of the raid building tool. In addition to locking and unlocking a raid, moving people from group to group, playing with your guildies like they’re tiles in a turn-based-strategy game, the Illuminate Interface allows you to lock and unlock their doors, control their household appliances, and change their stereo presets. Higher ranks of this ability gives access to bank accounts, credit information, and allows you to create or delete files in the CIA database. After a short learning curve, you will have trained your guild members when to log in and log off. You can have them deported or extradited if the time zone in which they live is inconvenient. The final rank of this ability gives you complete and autonomous control of all world military operations, eliminating the possibility of key raiders being AFK for something as trivial as a war.

[Rolfe]

BST

Warder?s Ardor
This ability allows you to direct your warder to visibly hump another player?s leg. The second rank of this ability allows the pet to continue to do this after you?ve logged off. The third rank gives the pet a money shot

lmao,

[Kanvil]

True Perspective
This ability alters the angle of the first person point of view on the monitor so that you?re always looking down your nose at the baser classes that are too stupid to master the art of magic.

I already have five levels in this!