Long time in coming....

[Laleldil]

more funnies

And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like ...



1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.



2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.



3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.



4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.



5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.



6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.



7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.



8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.



9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.



10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.



11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.



12. Super glue is forever.



13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.



14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.



15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.



16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.



17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.



18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.



19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not lik e ovens.



20. The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.



21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.



22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.



23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.



24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.



25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.



Now Ladies:

Lipstick in School -- Priceless!!

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington
was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old
girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the
bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they
would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip
prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the
next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal
decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to
the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She
explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem
for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she
asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and
cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip
prints on the mirror.

There are teachers, and then there are educators...

[Laleldil]

The wedding date was set and the groom's three pals -
A carpenter, an electrician and a dentist were deciding
What pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night.
The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would give them a chuckle or two.
The electrician decided to wire the bed - with alternating current, of course.
The dentist wouldn't commit himself, but wore a sly grin and promised it would be memorable.
The nuptials went as planned and a few days later,
Each of the grooms buddies received the following note:

DEAR FRIENDS,
WE DIDN'T MIND THE BED SLATS BEING SAWED.
THE ELECTRIC SHOCK WAS ONLY A MINOR SETBACK.
BUT I SWEAR BY GOD ALMIGHTY, I'M GOING TO KILL WHOEVER PUT NOVACAINE IN THE K-Y JELLY

[Kyreth]

haha, good ones Lale :)

[Laleldil]

Why parents drink

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in Sick
one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he
dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's
whisper. " Hello ? "

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, " No "

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy
there?"

" Yes "

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, " No ."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss
asked, "Is anybody else there?"

" Yes ," whispered the child, " a policeman ".

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's h ome, the boss asked,
"May I speak with the policeman?"

" No, he's busy ", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

" Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through The
earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

" A helicopter " answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, " The search team just landed a
helicopter ."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they
searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... " ME."





"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
*1 Corinthians 13:4-8*