Meh...

Post by **wolfrunner7** » Sat Jan 09, 2010 3:27 am

Probably not the best to speak here..

Not that anyone will read this, but.. just an FYI. 2 Months left on my account, for those of you who have access. It will remain that way least till paid time is up. Not really intending on renewing this time. Figured it's time. The moon shall shed no tears this time around.

Anyhow, a partial explanation at least be owed...

Considering I've been at this job for over 3 years, surprising I've lasted this long. I do the work I do out of necessity, not because I enjoy it. Imagine if you will, spending 20 hours or more a day in a virtual closet. No company, no one to talk to, spending 5-7 weeks away from home at a time. You eat, sleep, work alone .. in complete silence. Everquest, for me.. was to help alleviate that issue. I'm a very social creature, without a pack I wither and fade. Loneliness is a killer... you can be in a room full of people, and still feel like you're completely and utterly alone.

And if you understand this, then you will understand that 3 years of such would cause almost anyone to completely breakdown. This is what I have done. Rock bottom folks. Wasn't right, wasn't my intent, and wasn't fair to all of you to see it. For that I am sorry. I seek no forgiveness, as it doesn't belong to me. I only hope that when you think of what I once was, you remember me for the good.. before the meltdown.

Anyhow, not trying to interject drama.. just figured a little explanation was owed.

"Bother" -- Stonesour.

http://eq.magelo.com/profile/1433133 · Post by **Opus** » Sat Jan 09, 2010 6:12 am

! Every time you post it gets sadder and sadder. Cheer up man! Honestly you're a great guy and you don't need to be so hard on yourself wtf. I still hope you'll consider all of us friends again!

Post by **Gadjett** » Sat Jan 09, 2010 11:48 am

As wolves we are never truly alone. No matter how far we roam no matter how far we seem to drift away we will never be alone why is this. We run as packs and as packs we are never truly alone. No matter what happens in you life EQ or RL ES will truly and always be there for you in any way shape or form.... Whatever we can do for you just ask and we will do our best to support you in whatever you run into!!!!

Post by **spoiledbrat** » Sat Jan 09, 2010 3:57 pm

hugs hun Always considered you a good friend..I miss you

Check your private messages
big hugs

Post by **Bakko** » Sat Jan 09, 2010 6:32 pm

This would make a good 'Dear Sister' video. MMMM Whatcha saaaayyy

**Kazh** · Post by **Kazh** » Sat Jan 09, 2010 10:35 pm

Best of luck out there Hellhound. I hope things get better for you in RL. Send a tell anytime if you are on and want to talk.

Kazh

Post by **opirion** » Sun Jan 10, 2010 8:40 am

GET r done !!! no drama always best

Gecko of Desire · Mon Jan 11, 2010 2:09 am

Thank you for the explanation. I really like you and was wondering what was troubling you. I know for me, when I play everquest, it's to get away from being social. I do chat with folks in game, but it's more like an escape from people that it is being with them for me anyway. Although I am chatting and playing a game, in reality I am facing a computer screen silently typing with my back to the world. The last thing you want is advice, but when I used to travel for my job I would find the local stuff I liked, the gym, library, something, stores and go explore. I can't help but open by mouth and talk, so although I might not get close to those around me as much, I did get some face to face social time in. It's pretty cool that Nizzi is finding ways to meet with many of the people here in real life as he travels too, so I guess you can have it both ways a little.

Anyway, if I see you around in game, feel free to tap me on the shoulder and say hi anytime!