Back to California (Not Safe for kids language)

[Whipsnade]

A California couple moves to Chicago to get away from earthquakes!!!

Journal entry date JAN 24 - 5:00 PM. It’s starting to snow, the first of the season, and the first snow we’ve seen in years. The wife and I took out hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window, watching the snow flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful.

JAN. 25 - We woke up to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later a city snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved, I smiled back and shoveled it again…

Jan. 26 - It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature has dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish gray.

Jan. 27 - Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush, Which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway, $145 dollars to the chiropractor. But nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected.

Jan. 28 - Still cold. Sold the wife’s car and bought a 4x4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guardrail and did a considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter panel. Had another 8 inches of the white shit last night, Both vehicles covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That goddamn snowplow came by twice today.

Jan. 29 - 8 degrees outside. More Fuckin`snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn’t been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out, but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyebrows and eyelashes. Car slid on ice on way to emergency room and was totaled.

Jan. 30 - Goddamn Motherfuckin white shit keeps on coming. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the Fuckin mailbox. If I ever catch the Son-of-a-Bitch that drives the snowplow, I’ll chew open his chest and rip out his heart. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street about 100 MPH and buries our driveway again. Power is still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof started to cave in.

Jan. 31 - 6 Goddamn more Fuckin inches of Fuckin snow and Fuckin ice and God knows what other kind of white Fuckin shit fell last night. I wounded the Fuckin Snowplow Asshole with an ice axe, but he got away. Wife left me. Car won’t start. I think I’m going snow-blind. I can’t move my toes. Haven’t seen the sun in weeks. More snow predicted. Wind-chill –22 Fuckin degrees! I’m moving back to California...

[kaput]

hahhahahahahha welcome to my world